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Thread: Joke Time

  1. #21
    Senior Member QLD
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    Just something I've learnt over the years,
    ...Fast and Cheap won't be Reliable...
    ...Cheap and Reliable won't be Fast...
    ...Fast and Reliable won't be Cheap.............cheers Ian.

  2. #22
    Senior Member WA ThomasJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 83KAT View Post
    Just something I've learnt over the years,
    ...Fast and Cheap won't be Reliable...
    ...Cheap and Reliable won't be Fast...
    ...Fast and Reliable won't be Cheap.............cheers Ian.
    how true this is!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Preservation before restoration - they are only original once

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by ThomasJ View Post
    boy and the frog - brilliant!
    Plus one from me. What great logic.

  4. #24
    A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
    She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune the Manager of the Mall sees her and unplugs the horse.
    There is my opinion and then there is wrong!

  5. #25
    Senior Member QLD
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    Quote Originally Posted by 83KAT View Post
    Just something I've learnt over the years,
    ...Fast and Cheap won't be Reliable...
    ...Cheap and Reliable won't be Fast...
    ...Fast and Reliable won't be Cheap.............cheers Ian.
    There is a T Shirt if ever I saw one.

    Good one Ian

  6. #26
    Senior Member WA ThomasJ's Avatar
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    Irish Lubricant


    Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

    He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

    She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.
    'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

    'Ain't dat grand, !!'
    Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,
    'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

    The doctor then delivered a little girl.

    He said,
    'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

    Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said,
    'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'

    The doctor then delivered another boy and said,
    'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

    Murphy said to the doctor,
    'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

    The doctor said,
    'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

    Murphy said,
    'Ah yeah, during conception.'

    When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,

    'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'


    She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

    Murph said,
    'I'll tell you, .....it's a freaking' good ting we didn't use WD-40.
    Preservation before restoration - they are only original once

  7. #27
    Senior Member NSW murf's Avatar
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    Shit Im going to stop using INOX then LOL Cheers Murf
    Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly

  8. #28
    Senior Member CAN odin1's Avatar
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    Canadian winter

    406378_350504081720563_586215390_n_zpsb25bc3fc.jpg

    This could be me in another week.
    Sometimes when you fall in shit, you get up smelling like roses.

  9. #29
    Senior Member CAN odin1's Avatar
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    Here's evolution. No more hockey cards in the spokes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqpcBpSsj1A
    Sometimes when you fall in shit, you get up smelling like roses.

  10. #30
    Senior Member QLD
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    If you were around in 1919 and came upon the following poster...



    Liquor.jpg


    I mean,

    seriously,

    Wouldn't you just keep drinking

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